Tuesday 14 April 2015

COMMONPLACE DOES NOT DISCOUNT VALUE


I sat in church attentively listening to the sermon, and had a Eureka Moment! The Pastor said: "The commonness of a thing doesn't discount its value." How true those words are, but often overlooked. Let me explain a bit further. We constantly hear from motivational speakers and the like: "Distinct yourself, Stand out from the crowd, Seperate yourself from the norm, Don't follow the crowd..." We are inundated daily with infographics that tell us, no command us to be distinctive to get attention. Truthfully they are right. BUT... Let’s pause and think for a moment. Pure water sachets are same. They are branded differently but contents are basically same; yet their value cannot be underestimated. Salt? Brand it, iodise it, color it, its basic value is what it offers; Sand? Air? 

I use the everyday most common place examples, so we all can relate, and understand why it was so phenomenal for me. As humans we go to such great lengths to re-invent and package ourselves, so much so that we lose sight of the value of ourselves! For women, its a different ball game! Doubt me? Lets take a look on the streets, or if you're feeling a bit lazy, go on your Instagram page, scroll down to see tons of lovely, striking, and well put together ladies. In fact there are dedicated pages for all these hotness. The likes of Naija Girls Killing it, Asoebi Bella, Bella Naija, and the rest. One might argue and say its all false packaging and stuff, and you might be right. Still, the beautiful ones have been born, and are grown!

So in the face of all these loveliness, its too easy for two things to happen:
1) You go overboard trying to distinct yourself, and become silly. I call it the Miley Cyrus Syndrome. We see beautiful ladies wearing and behaving ridiculously all in the bid to garner attention, 'cos in this generation that we live, attention is cash!
2) You start to feel small and very common, you stop taking pride in the value that is inherent in you. I gave this one the Mouse Syndrome. Shrink away from adventure, people life! Just do the daily existence. 

So what’s the balance? Did I hear you ask? Am discovering myself, but we give a little, and get a little, right? So I’ll share mine and you’ll share yours. Since we agree, here goes:

1)     What’s my value? To my family, friends, job, community?
Getting re-affirmation from my constant contribution to this direct sphere of influence helps a whole lot.
2)     Don’t settle for less! I constantly tell myself, Yes, there are plenty in the fishes in the sea, but that doesn’t discount my offering! So please give me my due!
3)     Where there’s no appreciation, there’s depreciation! So deliberate effort should be made to improve, and not stagnate. I’m never going to be a'has been’!

Remain Golden, it never goes out of style!
D2AGE

Friday 3 April 2015

PART THREE: Single Mom Dating.

Okay guys, so this is the third and final sequel to "Dating Etiquette for Single Mom's", unless one of you comes up with another question that sparks another blog post! LoL! So the question/opinion was: " Doesn't it depend on the KIND of guy you are dating? Surely different guys would want different kind of behaviours? Take Nikki Minaj and her Bae, or Kim K and Hubby for example?"

This question got Love Expert sitting back in her chair to deeply analyse this 2 in 1 question. Firstly, Should you act differently with different kind of men? Secondly, which is the most appropriate type of man for a single mom to date?

Okay first question: I do not believe it wise to be different with different kind of people. The basis still stands: WHO ARE YOU? So if you're dating a rapper, or film director, or business man, or football coach, or banker; it doesn't matter! Young, old, rich, poor! You are the CONSTANT! What standards are YOU most comfortable with? What environment do YOU thrive in? If you put on a character, ultimately its bound to wear thin, then you end up hating the other person, and yourself even more for being someone you're not. You're either happy go lucky, or serious lady, or chilled out chic. You love yourself, they fall and remain in love with you! Gbam!

Second Question: Which is the most appropriate man for a single mom to date? The first thing wrong with this question is the title 'single mom'. Granted dating is a bit more difficult for single mom's (especially if your kid(s) are living with you, and are at a young impressionable age); but guess what? This status is just ONE aspect of you!!! So the question should be more like: "Which is the most appropriate man for a woman to date!"
Secondly, what is "Appropriate?" Older and Mature? Widower or Divorced? Pastor and Saint? When you're a single mom, its so easy to take your self out of the running. You stop exercising, stop feeling and being young, so focused on this great responsibility of being a mom! It's a HUGE and commendable role I admit. But catch 21, You're SINGLE! So who says a younger guy can't rock your boat? Be the one who makes you laugh, makes you feel alive, be your MAN? I truly believe age is nothing but a number. 
So simple answer to the question - Go where your heart takes you honey. Being a woman is so many things, don't focus on just the one (mom), don't wear your status like an albatross. 

Again, Be the Best of You, and ALL GOOD THINGS WILL COME.

Love is Gold, Be Golden.
D2AGE

Picture Credit: Flikr.com