THE BIG PLAY OFF- HEART VERSUS RING

It’s another Saturday, and women know the horror of going to the market on Saturdays for the weeks’ supply of groceries. Honestly, the government that that helps us establish ultra-modern markets will have my life time vote! (or something like that! LOL). 

Anyways, I courageously head to the market this Saturday morning (because a girl must do what a girl must do) and expectedly it is the same crazy mix of humans, cars, wares and some animals here and there, all screaming and tooting horns as the feeling takes them, which was quite often. Parking of course was the usual nightmare. However I spy a spot on the street a short distance from the market and quickly park my car, heading out to the market before anyone can call me back.

On getting to my car after buying my groceries, what do I meet but an enterprising young man busily washing my car! It’s a good day so I start to chuckle. This my country! You hustle to make a buck with much risk! I ask him, ‘Oga so na by force washing be this now?’ ‘No oh, madam, I just say make I wash am, if you appreciate me, no problem.’ Was his response.

I stand watching him complete his task as my mind flies with thoughts. You see, this is how some of my single sisters, quickly ‘occupy’! They see a guy, who isn’t in a relationship,-ding ding! Potential husband material, and go on autopilot- 'I can groom him, make myself useful, get him hooked on me, till he sees he can’t live without me'. Then they start to call 'just checking on you', forming nice 'have you eaten', Being concerned 'hope the fuel situation is not stressing you', giving of themselves 'I believe in you, here, take my life savings and start the business,'...

 Like the enterprising man, it’s a risk! That play sometimes pays off with the ding a ling a ring, but other times… I may have come back from my shopping with no extra cash to spare, or given him something far lower than his effort. Some guys just enjoy the attention showered on them, but their empty pockets (hearts) has no love to spare! Some enjoy the attention, and when asked is this going to get to the Promised Land, they go ‘you’re like a sister to me!’

A play off of your heart, time, effort, emotions, resources for a ring might be worth it, but girls you may want to reconsider. The stakes are high. Moreover, you’d always wonder, did he really choose you, or is he merely coasting having just gone passively with the tide?

You’re worth a definite stand, and a pursuit! Only #occupyoninvitation

For my golden girls, because you’re worth it!

D2AGE.

ORIGINAL IS GOOD

It’s really a blessing to be part of the growing up years of a child. Watching a human take shape in their opinions, and convictions. I am constantly in awe of it, and humbled, that I have the opportunity and great responsibility to be part of that.

As with most of my posts, this one is inspired by a conversation with my Prince. His holiday project was one that he put much attention to do, and was quite proud of the finished work, which he eagerly took to school to submit. There was however the slight confusion of if we were to draw or use a real flower. First day of school and the usual conversation of how school was ensued.

 ‘

How about your project? Did you submit it?’

‘No, the teacher didn’t come to our class’ was the response.

‘Okay, so did you see others from your class mates? Did they draw or did they use a real flower.’ ‘Everybody drew’.

‘hmm…, well do you want us to quickly draw one?’ I asked,

‘No its okay, mine is original, original is good’

Wow! That pleased me. You’ve got to understand that even as adults very few people are courageous enough to stand for what they believe even if they are the only one. To be true to themselves, and hence the world. To live in liberation of who they truly are before the world wittingly and unwittingly conditioned them, forming a caricature of who they truly are.

My son is a generous person. That’s his true nature, this last Sunday, he didn’t have the opportunity to put his offering in. A teenager observed him with the money, and asked that he give it to him to use for transport. My son gave. When I heard the story, my reaction was that he had just been conned! But who is to say that he was? You see my conditioning had led me to reveal myself as a suspicious, afraid being, ever watchful for the manipulative antics of other humans. My son, still fresh in his honesty, walked in love to give freely, obtaining the joy that comes from living free, genuinely seeing the good in people.

As with most folks, the beginning of the year is usually reflective. I’ve been thinking and examining. I’ll confess that it hasn’t been a very easy process. Who am I really? Before the conditioning of experience, exposure, education, socio-economic and political culture? Before the hurts, disappointments, rejections and other hard knocks of life? Am I living my authentic self? Does my voice ring true for the convictions and values I hold dear, or is it a hollow echo of someone else’s truth? I don’t know. I do know that I am courageous enough to dig deep, and willing to unveil the queen behind the veil. Won’t you do the same for you?

Be Original, Original Rocks

Living the Golden Life

D2AGE

Plaintain-ish

I was passing through the market today and decided to get some groceries. A nice, fresh healthy meal, to nourish the body and soul. For those who know me, cooking is therapeutic, and eating good food is….well simply great! I love good food! (Comment below, what’s your favourite meal to eat/cook)

So I’m examining some plantains, and another seller close by pitches in with her opinion, urging me to take another bunch other than what I had selected. The bunch she encouraged me to take were not good compared to the one I was considering. Scrawny, black, immature fingers of plantain! It was however one finger more than my choice. ‘Ah madam, you no get good eye, this plantain fine!’ perhaps it was the sun, because normally I just smile and say thank you at stuff like that. This time however, I managed to hold on to my temper, and just turned my back in a deliberate bluff. Why would you try to persuade me to accept substandard products? If you were the one buying would you select those? Or perhaps she actually thought she was doing me a favour as her selection was (a bit) more.

Back home, preparing my plantain dish, and pondering it over, I draw similarities. It’s another year end. You’re still alone. And ‘friends, well-wishers, family’ would try to ‘offer’ you advice to settle down. ‘What happened to brother so and so? How about that one that used to come around? That fine boy in your office complex nko? His bow leg isn’t too noticeable, or you can teach him to improve his oral hygiene, or (my personal favorite) he needs a woman like you to push him and build him up, to be a real man!’ Biko, Aunty, Park Well! Jesus is the chief builder. Singleness is just another part of life, same as being married is.

So this piece is to us single ladies, 10 more days, yes something can still happen, but regardless, eagerly anticipate 2018 (if Jesus tarries), for YOU. Make those goals, SMASH those goals! Go to that wedding, and have yourself a merry good time! Enjoy the season for You! If you feel like a moonlit stroll, please do so, don’t bemoan the fact that you stroll alone. If you want to go for that party, please do, ignore the comments, dazzle a smile at the looks, a man on your arm isn’t an accessory to be depressed about. Don’t settle, when you know better.

If you want an awesome dish (marriage) pick the right ingredients!

Love you, do YOU, BE GOLDEN!

D2AGE

MI CORAZON

We lie in bed, catching up on random thoughts after bedtime story, waiting for sleep to take us over, this is a nightly ritual I look forward to. It gives me a sense of the way this young man’s mind is developing, what concerns him, and it’s just generally relaxing jare. So the young man goes, “I had Afang soup at my friend’s house last week, and… it was nice.” Casting me a mischievous sideward glance. Am struggling to catch up with what the sideward glance means. This is someone who would fuss over swallow, and only agree to eat if it is fufu. Not garri, pounded yam, semo, amala, or anything else. Just as am about to ask, if he ate it with garri, he goes “Are you jealous right now?” like what the *&#$! So he knows eh? That I get huffy (not jealous jor!) when he enjoys some other person’s food?! Hah! This boy has me all figured out, I declare! (Side note, if my son comes to your house, please crackers and water is fine!)

It turns into a tickling fit, as I try to “punish” him for that remark. “Stop mom, stop! I like yours too! Yours is nice, and hers is nice, just saying!” with that statement, he gets off the hook. Then he gives me a hug and says, “Mom I really like you.” That alone gets me misty eyed, thinking awww, what a sweet child, but no. He goes and really makes me drip from my eyes.

“I really like you, not love. Of course, I love you, you’re my mum, buy me what I need, take care of me, teach me, and worry about me; but I really like you cos you’re my friend. I can play with you and tell you anything!” Hah! My fingers still tingle typing it, and my chest gets tight remembering. This child is growing up smart! How important is it to be friends with your kids? Nothing is more so! Being not just their provider and caretaker, but also their friend. Someone they can confide in, who gets them, and doesn’t judge.

I was still trying to get my breath from the overwhelming emotion when it enters my heart. “That’s just the way I need you to be with Me. I don’t need you to come only when you need. Am happy to provide, but I also yearn to be your friend, buddy, Your number one option for fellowship”.

It is such a time of renewal when we fellowship with God, not just the moments when we worry or complain. But the moments when we share a laugh, and glory in the wonder of discovery of one of His creations. Just as am constantly amazed by this warm breathing cuteness curled up beside me. Ah Abba! Mi Corazon! Never let me forget, to be friends with

him, and with You.

Golden moments of Friendship, Golden Life

D2AGE