LOVE=CHOICE

AH! Is this how I’m going to start this month?! Of all months this February?! I’ve been DUMPED! Ah my poor heart!

Unceremoniously and without preamble, my angel tells me ‘Mom, I can’t be your best friend anymore!’ the statement that brought my head up from my phone quick as a flash, and had me befuddled!

‘Why?’ I gently inquire, checking to see if I have in anyway defaulted on any promise, or not been ‘bestfriendly’ in any of my recent actions, behavior, words… what will prompt this one again bikonu?!

‘Mom, family can’t be best friends, they already share a blood bond that they can’t break. Best friends come by ‘choice’! Oh ho!! Na me send you to school, no vex Ette! But, I’ve got the upper hand, because you see, apart from the fact that I’ve had several more years of schooling, and life experiences; I’m a woman and a mom! These species know ALL things! LOL! So I have just the perfect rejoinder! Perfect because it’s TRUE!

‘But babe, I may have a blood bond, but not necessarily like you, so I’ll try to escape you or give you up, or ignore you. I love you, because yes there is the blood bond, but I really LIKE YOU, and CHOOSE YOU as MY best friend!’ That won me silence, one of his intense looks to see if I was telling the truth, then a big, tight hug! Ahhh!

This thing called love is in the air, its February afterall. Everyone is on the band wagon of St. Valentine. It’s so noisy on this wagon, that you barely find the peace to settle your heart and rediscover what the essence of true love is; understand what the authenticity of what it really feels and looks like. Too many times we chase the vapors, sacrifice our values, on a type a shadow, at best a certified photocopy.

Love must first start from you, for how can you ‘choose’ genuine love, if we cannot recognize it? How can we recognize it, if we don’t first recognize the originator? And it’s not St. Valentine! The refrain of a song plays in my ears as I type this ‘…thank you for loving me, too much o! excess love o! It took me a while, but I finally recognized You, and Accepted that You CHOSE TO LOVE ME, not because, but although, warts and all, ‘cos that’s just who YOU are. We share a bond I can’t escape from, only be liberated by.

What manner of Golden Love?

D2AGE

Sango or Yahweh. Part Two - The Realisation

As parents, you pass on tradition, pass on your beliefs, and form cultures. You were brought up going to church, so you take your child to church. You believe in an altruistic creator. So you tell and convince your child(ren) to believe as you do. You think it would be great to inculcate certain habits in them, so you embark on repetitive behaviors that form cultures, which would mold this individual into the ideal society participant. In the whole interplay of your molding and forming, you forget the one crucial thing that can undo or cement all you’re forming. The experiences the children go through. Their understanding, and reaction to these experiences. Why else would you have PK’s becoming nude pop singers? Going so far left from the apparent cultures and beliefs that they were brought up with?

This realization plagued me. Even as I awaited God’s defense of Himself, curious about how it will come, wondering if perhaps He meant for me to help Him. I sought out answers from family and friends, but none had an answer that satisfied me, that I felt confident will answer my inquisitive 7 going on 70-year-old angel.

Several days go by and am watching and wondering. Then it happened. It was Little Man’s turn to lead evening devotion. We finished reading and explaining the totally unrelated passage, and it’s time for him to pray. He says the usual gratitude and requests and then with a heavy pause that makes me peep at him, he goes - “Am sorry God for being angry with you, I won’t be angry anymore, and I still Love you”.

God doesn’t need our help, doesn’t need to defend Himself, because He just IS. Confronted by the awesomeness of His Love and Grace, you can’t help but fall in Love. He showed me, that you don’t need the theological exposure, education or experience. He can still be EXPERIENCED by even a baby who can’t speak or explain. HE IS.

The parenting thing is a bit harder for the single parent. Wondering if we are doing the right thing or if our words are resonating and forming ethical characters. Sometimes the self-doubt just seeks to bury you. You don’t always get an answer to your questions and prayers, or at least not in the way you want; but for me, this reminder was all I needed. HE IS, and HE CARES. My trust therefore, is not in the arm of flesh, not even my own, strong and hardworking as I may be. My only boast is in the sufficiency of HIM WHO MAKES ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME!

Hence for me and my house hold, IT’S YAHWEH ALL THE WAY!

Golden Child of a Golden GOD.

D2AGE