LOVE=CHOICE

AH! Is this how I’m going to start this month?! Of all months this February?! I’ve been DUMPED! Ah my poor heart!

Unceremoniously and without preamble, my angel tells me ‘Mom, I can’t be your best friend anymore!’ the statement that brought my head up from my phone quick as a flash, and had me befuddled!

‘Why?’ I gently inquire, checking to see if I have in anyway defaulted on any promise, or not been ‘bestfriendly’ in any of my recent actions, behavior, words… what will prompt this one again bikonu?!

‘Mom, family can’t be best friends, they already share a blood bond that they can’t break. Best friends come by ‘choice’! Oh ho!! Na me send you to school, no vex Ette! But, I’ve got the upper hand, because you see, apart from the fact that I’ve had several more years of schooling, and life experiences; I’m a woman and a mom! These species know ALL things! LOL! So I have just the perfect rejoinder! Perfect because it’s TRUE!

‘But babe, I may have a blood bond, but not necessarily like you, so I’ll try to escape you or give you up, or ignore you. I love you, because yes there is the blood bond, but I really LIKE YOU, and CHOOSE YOU as MY best friend!’ That won me silence, one of his intense looks to see if I was telling the truth, then a big, tight hug! Ahhh!

This thing called love is in the air, its February afterall. Everyone is on the band wagon of St. Valentine. It’s so noisy on this wagon, that you barely find the peace to settle your heart and rediscover what the essence of true love is; understand what the authenticity of what it really feels and looks like. Too many times we chase the vapors, sacrifice our values, on a type a shadow, at best a certified photocopy.

Love must first start from you, for how can you ‘choose’ genuine love, if we cannot recognize it? How can we recognize it, if we don’t first recognize the originator? And it’s not St. Valentine! The refrain of a song plays in my ears as I type this ‘…thank you for loving me, too much o! excess love o! It took me a while, but I finally recognized You, and Accepted that You CHOSE TO LOVE ME, not because, but although, warts and all, ‘cos that’s just who YOU are. We share a bond I can’t escape from, only be liberated by.

What manner of Golden Love?

D2AGE

THE BIG PLAY OFF- HEART VERSUS RING

It’s another Saturday, and women know the horror of going to the market on Saturdays for the weeks’ supply of groceries. Honestly, the government that that helps us establish ultra-modern markets will have my life time vote! (or something like that! LOL). 

Anyways, I courageously head to the market this Saturday morning (because a girl must do what a girl must do) and expectedly it is the same crazy mix of humans, cars, wares and some animals here and there, all screaming and tooting horns as the feeling takes them, which was quite often. Parking of course was the usual nightmare. However I spy a spot on the street a short distance from the market and quickly park my car, heading out to the market before anyone can call me back.

On getting to my car after buying my groceries, what do I meet but an enterprising young man busily washing my car! It’s a good day so I start to chuckle. This my country! You hustle to make a buck with much risk! I ask him, ‘Oga so na by force washing be this now?’ ‘No oh, madam, I just say make I wash am, if you appreciate me, no problem.’ Was his response.

I stand watching him complete his task as my mind flies with thoughts. You see, this is how some of my single sisters, quickly ‘occupy’! They see a guy, who isn’t in a relationship,-ding ding! Potential husband material, and go on autopilot- 'I can groom him, make myself useful, get him hooked on me, till he sees he can’t live without me'. Then they start to call 'just checking on you', forming nice 'have you eaten', Being concerned 'hope the fuel situation is not stressing you', giving of themselves 'I believe in you, here, take my life savings and start the business,'...

 Like the enterprising man, it’s a risk! That play sometimes pays off with the ding a ling a ring, but other times… I may have come back from my shopping with no extra cash to spare, or given him something far lower than his effort. Some guys just enjoy the attention showered on them, but their empty pockets (hearts) has no love to spare! Some enjoy the attention, and when asked is this going to get to the Promised Land, they go ‘you’re like a sister to me!’

A play off of your heart, time, effort, emotions, resources for a ring might be worth it, but girls you may want to reconsider. The stakes are high. Moreover, you’d always wonder, did he really choose you, or is he merely coasting having just gone passively with the tide?

You’re worth a definite stand, and a pursuit! Only #occupyoninvitation

For my golden girls, because you’re worth it!

D2AGE.

MI CORAZON

We lie in bed, catching up on random thoughts after bedtime story, waiting for sleep to take us over, this is a nightly ritual I look forward to. It gives me a sense of the way this young man’s mind is developing, what concerns him, and it’s just generally relaxing jare. So the young man goes, “I had Afang soup at my friend’s house last week, and… it was nice.” Casting me a mischievous sideward glance. Am struggling to catch up with what the sideward glance means. This is someone who would fuss over swallow, and only agree to eat if it is fufu. Not garri, pounded yam, semo, amala, or anything else. Just as am about to ask, if he ate it with garri, he goes “Are you jealous right now?” like what the *&#$! So he knows eh? That I get huffy (not jealous jor!) when he enjoys some other person’s food?! Hah! This boy has me all figured out, I declare! (Side note, if my son comes to your house, please crackers and water is fine!)

It turns into a tickling fit, as I try to “punish” him for that remark. “Stop mom, stop! I like yours too! Yours is nice, and hers is nice, just saying!” with that statement, he gets off the hook. Then he gives me a hug and says, “Mom I really like you.” That alone gets me misty eyed, thinking awww, what a sweet child, but no. He goes and really makes me drip from my eyes.

“I really like you, not love. Of course, I love you, you’re my mum, buy me what I need, take care of me, teach me, and worry about me; but I really like you cos you’re my friend. I can play with you and tell you anything!” Hah! My fingers still tingle typing it, and my chest gets tight remembering. This child is growing up smart! How important is it to be friends with your kids? Nothing is more so! Being not just their provider and caretaker, but also their friend. Someone they can confide in, who gets them, and doesn’t judge.

I was still trying to get my breath from the overwhelming emotion when it enters my heart. “That’s just the way I need you to be with Me. I don’t need you to come only when you need. Am happy to provide, but I also yearn to be your friend, buddy, Your number one option for fellowship”.

It is such a time of renewal when we fellowship with God, not just the moments when we worry or complain. But the moments when we share a laugh, and glory in the wonder of discovery of one of His creations. Just as am constantly amazed by this warm breathing cuteness curled up beside me. Ah Abba! Mi Corazon! Never let me forget, to be friends with

him, and with You.

Golden moments of Friendship, Golden Life

D2AGE